I work with little ones everyday and recently I seem to see, more often than ever before, an alarming number of children who are quite clearly the head of their households.
These are children who get what they want, when they want it and their parents seem to be either unable or unwilling to enforce any boundaries.
I hate seeing how these children are allowed to develop terrible eating and sleeping habits, how they seem to live in a state of near exhaustion and are constantly plagued by minor illness. They seem to have a hard time concentrating and learning new things and are unable to play well either independently or with others.
These children are always the ones who seem to be the most unhappy I see. I don’t pretend I’m a perfect parent myself or in fact that there even is such a thing as a perfect parent but seeing this makes me want to speak up and remind these parents to say no sometimes and to remember that they are supposed to be their childs parent and not a friend.
I wish I could remind them that sometimes saying no is the right thing to do. I want them to realize that no is not a negative word. Like any other word it is simply a tool with which we communicate. Whether it is positive or negative depends entirely on how you use it.
I want to tell them that by always saying yes they are making their children miserable that they are teaching them that nothing has value and that material gain is all that matters in life.
I want to tell them that saying no will give their child so much more. That it will give them strength of character, allow them to make good choices and give courage and comfort when those choices result in the unexpected.
I want to tell them that saying no now will allow their children to move past the hard times in their future lives and to find success.
It will teach them to give respect to others and to expect the same in return. It will teach them what is right and what is wrong and how to be happy.
I want to tell them that you may not be your child’s friend today but that someday if you remember to guide them now that someday when they no longer need as much parenting in their life they will be.
They will see that you always did what you thought was right even when it was hard to do and thrive as adults in their own lives. It is all any of us can do as parents and it is our job to at least try.
