Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Seperate Pieces - 100 word blurb
Out Loud (and in silly voices)
Reading aloud to children is something I enjoy doing whether it is to my own children or not. I tend to really get into it using multiple voices, big loud booming ones and quiet timid squeaky ones. I use my hands and act out a knock on the door or stomp my feet and encourage the listeners to cheer along with the characters and get as into the story as I do.
As it tends to happen however, as my own children have gotten older I’ve read to them less and less. With my youngest now being an independent and as enthusiastic reader as I am the importance of reading aloud to them seems to have faded.
That was until Harry Potter as over the last year we read the entire series together and I began to really see the value of reading aloud to both of them again. My oldest listened because she was too impatient for me to finish reading them to my youngest before reading them on her own, which she then did anyways.
What I’ve noticed since then as I’ve read other stories to my youngest is how my oldest surreptitiously listens to the story I’m telling rather than reading the one in her own book open on her lap. Her eyes seem to lose focus and pages no longer turn.
So seeing as I have set my own goals to read some “better literature” I’ve decided in the next few months to do the same with my girls, reading aloud the classic children’s tales and whether they both admit to listening or not I think it will be well enjoyed.
1. Chalotte’s Web – E.B. White
2. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson
3. 3. The Velveteen Rabbit - Margery Williams
4. 4. The wonderful Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum
5. 5. Anne Of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
6. 6. James and the Giant Peach - Roald Dahl
7. 7. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
8. 8. Pinocchio - Carlo Collodi
9. The Wind in The Willows – Kenneth Grahame
10. Through the looking-glass – Lewis Carol
11. Black Beauty – Anna Wewell
12. The Tale of Despereaux – Kate DeCamillo
13. The Chronicles of Narnia – C.S. Lewis – full set
14. The Black Stallion – Walter Farley
15. The Neverending Story – Michael Ende
Students and Teachers
I ran across this study yesterday about teachers and how sometimes they let their personal feelings influence how they treat and grade particular students.
This is something that I’ve been thinking about lately. While my oldest admittedly struggled a bit during the last school year academically she made leaps and bounds in getting back on track this year. She has however continued to struggle in one subject, science.
Science was once her favorite subject interesting her greatly and instead is now her least favorite because it leaves her feeling frustrated, negative and worrisome. Much of the problem, which my daughter has tried to tell me, is that her science teacher doesn’t like her.
For the longest time I dismissed her idea that her teacher doesn’t like her as just an excuse. I have always believed that the marks my children get are their responsibility and I have faith in teachers to always do their job to the best of their abilities without bias. If my child brings home work which is below my expectations of what they are capable of I normally look to them for the reason not the teacher.
I have however come to realize through a number of events and issues that in this particular case a lot of the problems she has been having are a direct or indirect result of the fact that, she is right, her teacher does not like her. I don’t know why, nor does my daughter but I do now believe a negative personal opinion really is at the root of her problems in science.
Teachers deserve a lot of respect and admiration for the job they do and let’s face it even more so for those teachers of students who are in those angst ridden teenage years. I’ve always believed that there are better teachers than others and that my children will sometimes respond to one teacher or their teaching style more positively than others.
Knowing that however I’ve always had faith that despite the occasional personality clash that a teacher will always have a student’s best interest at heart and that those personal feeling won’t affect grades either positively or negatively.
Perhaps that was naïve and I have come to realize, as this article also points out, that it isn’t always true. Teachers are simply human after-all and prone to the same irrational feelings and bias as anyone else. Some teachers do not allow their personal feelings to impact a student’s grades but there are also some that will.
The Icky School Years
Ahh elementary school, home to countless airborne illnesses and rampant contagions. It never takes long once the school year has begun for something to pop up. It seems as if there is always at least one kid with ooze leaking from them in one form or another and invariably your own child will at some point bring some of these home with them.
It’s just a part of parenting but why do some of those normal childhood contagions have to be so darn icky?
My least favorite thing to ever be brought home from school was by far lice. Nothing makes my skin crawl more than opening a backpack to find a warning that lice has been found. A few years back the girls school had a real problem with lice that I am really hoping never happens again.
I think that besides the creepy crawly feeling you get when the word lice is mentioned this is what bothers me the most about these pests; that it is so easy for the problem to continue. All it takes is one parent who doesn’t follow through on treatment to start the cycle of transmitting the little buggers around again.
Now lice are something of an extra annoyance because it is entirely preventable but most things passed around are not. It does seem the vast majority of childhood illnesses are contagious before symptoms appear so there really is no preemptive defense against them.
I really do believe it is impossible to keep a hundred or more children in the same building for 8 hours a day from spreading every single cold and flu germ to each and every connected household. It is simply something that everyone with school age children, particularly the elementary aged ones have to deal with.
I’m hoping that lice doesn’t crop up this year but without a doubt the first school related contagion has reached our home in the form of a rather reddened eye which of course can mean only one thing pink-eye.
Like every other year I'll do the only thing I can; deal with the collateral damage that comes with each school year and stock up on the Kleenex and Advil.
Motherhood in Reverse
I haven’t had the most active and busy weekend, although my annual dragon boat festival races did take place. My team did pretty well in the races and our fundraising efforts paid off nicely and we were able to make a fairly good overall donation to children’s hospital/cancer care.
We ran three races the second of which was by far our best race. It was 3 seconds faster than our first run which is a huge difference in this type of sport. Both race days were fairly early in the morning and so all was said and done around noon for both Saturday and Sunday.
It being the only thing to really do it did leave a lot of free time afterward and even though our families activity level was very low key it was still a rather tiring weekend. I’m sure it was even less exciting for my husband and both girls as they only attended the final race on Sunday seeing as it has been so difficult to get our oldest daughter around.
On Friday I told how she injured herself at soccer and it’s why we’ve had to take it easy. It’s completely understandable of course she can’t help but have a difficult time. Crutches aren’t the easiest thing to adjust to, even having used them several times before, and a broken hip is going to be painful and hard to tolerate no matter how good the drugs you’re taking are.
And yes it is a broken hip although not an odd type of fracture for her age and it should heal fully in about 6 weeks.
It has been an odd change for us as parents though as her ever growing independence as she’s gotten older has disappeared. She has needed help with things in the past few days she hasn’t needed help with since she became an independent and stubborn toddler.
She can’t put on her own socks, carry her own meals to the table, pick things up of the floor or even bathe without help. It’s as if the stage of motherhood/childhood we were in has gone into reverse and we are now back to some point around her toddler years. The only difference is she is much better at communicating her needs than she was at 2.
Ok maybe it’s different in other ways too but it really does evoke memories of days gone by. I’ve just found it interesting how when she gets hurt it seems to take me back to the days when she was small. She still needs us without the injury certainly and I don’t mother less regularly it’s just the needs aren’t quite as tangible as putting on socks. Or at least not as easily expressed.
Helpless
Last year during soccer playoffs my daughter was injured on the field and I had lamented on how it is the worst moment for any sports parent. Well that injury was a broken wrist and severe enough but I discovered last night that I was wrong. There is a much worse sporting moment as a parent.
Last night about ten minutes into the second half she dropped to the ground. I didn’t see what had happened but I was called onto the field moments later. I got a few steps toward her before I heard how she was crying and then I RAN. It quickly became clear she would not be walking off the field and even more alarmingly that she wasn’t able to be carried off.
Since it seemed we couldn’t move her without causing her a great deal of pain or possibly injuring her further I called 911. As soon as the 911 operator answered I discovered that I was not as calm as I was trying to appear to be and quickly handed off the phone to another parent so I could focus where every instinct was telling me to focus; on her.
The time between calling emergency services and the wait until they arrived were by far the worst moments I’ve ever experienced. She was shivering uncontrollably, hyperventilating, in terrible pain and absolutely terrified. All I could do was stroke her hair and try to get her to breathe calmly and tell her that I wasn’t going anywhere. She was looking to me for help and I was completely helpless to do so.
When we were leaving with the ambulance I finally looked up from her and back at the field. It wasn’t until then that I saw, even though the game had by then been called, that no one had left. Many of the girls on her team were crying and although I certainly felt bad for all the girls I also felt very grateful for their and their parents’ silent support in those awful moments.
I was grateful for those who had lent blankets and helped me to get our things together and get the car home so that I could go with her in the ambulance and have my husband still able to meet us at the hospital. I honestly have no recollection of who I asked to do what. I only know that those I asked for help did so without hesitation.
She did not as had been suspected dislocate her hip but did tear ligaments and is going to have a long recovery. She is still in terrible pain today and will need a lot more care than usual as she hobbles her way around on crutches for an undetermined amount of time. Only time will tell how long and difficult her recovery will be but hopefully she doesn’t suffer any long term effects.
Being helpless to help her was by far a worse experience to the broken wrist of last year. I hope to never again face an experience like this one has been.
Lifelong Learners
I want to teach my children a love of learning that carries through their life. I want them to find a way to say they learnt something new each and every day. I want books to be a haven of things they can explore, science to be a wondrous place where explosions occasionally occur. I want them to get messy and play with everything to never lose the wonder at the world before their feet. I hope they always look for questions, to ask and to answer, as there is always something worth doing when your learning is never done. Power Of Words
This past weekend while on my second or third stop to pick up a missed item from the store I witnessed a truly disheartening scene. While I was picking up a carton of eggs a little boy of no more than 5 was told by his father to grab a carton for him.
Being a 5 year old boy he fumbled and dropped the carton, his father’s reaction was absolutely shocking and vile. He began to tell this young boy that he was an idiot and worthless and that he would never do anything right. I was shocked by the hatred and anger in this man’s voice so startled in fact that although I would have liked to have said something I physically couldn’t speak.
This in and of itself is a terrible thing to hear a parent tell their child but it was the look on this little boys face that crushed me as his father continued to berate him. He’d heard these words before, he didn’t cry, he didn’t offer a single complaint just stood there and accepted what he seemed to believe was his due. My heart broke for this poor boy and it’s been in my mind ever since.
Even more than saying something to this father I wish I could have taken that little boy and told him that he is a wonderful and unique person just as special as anyone else in this world. I wanted to take that deadened look in his eyes and replace it with the happiness that all children deserve.
I wanted to shake this father and make him see what he is doing to his son. Children will believe what you say to them whether or not it is said out of anger or not. As a parent you have the power to shape how your child feels about themselves right from day one. How you react to accidents and in moments of stress will not affect just that moment but the rest of your child’s life.
I realize chances are had I said something he would have looked at me as the offending party and still not recognized what he was doing to his child. Often we can’t see what we are doing wrong and we don’t recognize the power of our words and our actions. I can only hope he realizes the power he holds to make his sons life better or worse before it’s too late.
For me what I will try to take from this is a reminder to be kind to my children. To love them no matter what they do and to always remember the power my words hold over them.
Fever
She opened her eyes to find she had grown six feet, ten feet possibly even more. She towered over everything except her bed which seemed to have grown right along with her dwarfing everything else in the room. As she sat up feet dangling over the edge she instantly shrank.
Once again she matched the rest of the room in size and yet the bed that she now so desperately wanted to escape hadn’t shrunk down with her and the leap to the floor had become enormous. It was now a giant chasm, the distance widening between her feet and the floor. In a panic she withdrew her feet back up to the mattress unable to leap.
Her breath caught as she watched in surprise and amazement as all of the other furniture and objects suddenly skewed appearing to shrink down once again. It felt as if she was in a room no bigger than a room in the dollhouse which sat on her bedroom floor. It was cramped and the walls seemed to be closing in. It was quite impossible for her to fit into such a small space.
She closed her eyes tightly and swaying slightly where she sat counted to ten. She slowly opened her eyes to find that now she was small and all the objects and furniture in her room were much bigger than her. In her bed she seemed to have grown impossibly tiny, now it was if she was no bigger than the doll which lived in the dollhouse.
She pulled her blankets tight and her eyes slammed shut once again. This time she counted backwards. Her eyes opened on a world returned to normal and she leapt from her bed running to another bed not so far away and said “I’m scared everything is small, it’s all the wrong size!”
She was pulled into this bed and into a warm embrace that was just the right size “Climb in with me” said her mother. She scrambled into the big bed and watched as her mommy disappeared for a moment to return with two pink pills and a cool glass of water.
A few moments later with her mommy’s arms wrapped around her she began to feel big again, but mommy grew with her and so she was safe. Eyes closed she drifted for a few moments and the next time she opened her eyes she saw everything back to normal and whispered “the pink pills made everything right again.”
Her mother brushed her hair back from her forehead, kissed her gently on her still warm temple and whispered back ”just try to sleep now”, and so she did.
This was prompted by the real life words of "I'm scared everything is small, it's all the wrong size!" and "the pink pills made everything right again." which were spoken by my little one during the night while she had a raging high fever. I seem to recall having a similar experience as a child myself as does my husband, in fact he recalls having said the first sentence word for word at about the same age.
Calmed
It’s been a remarkably calm week, which is weird since it was also a very busy week. I’ve stayed relatively stress free because I’ve decided to just stop giving a damn. Not about everything no, but about the little things that don’t really affect me. That irritate just because they irritate.
I’ve still been doing all my work, my chores and errands, attending meetings, doing the soccer and school thing but I’ve stopped worrying about things that are outside of my control. I’ve realized that I always do the best that I can in everything I do and I can’t do anything more than that.
What other people do or don’t do is not my problem and I don’t have to let it bug me. It doesn’t change my efforts or discount them in any way I can let these things bother me or I can be proud that at least I do them.
Just as an example I’m coaching soccer this year and I began the arduous task of trying to get a response from the parents of all the kids on my team. I sent the first e-mail of the week early Tuesday morning specifically requesting number/name preferences for jerseys. I made it clear if I didn’t hear back they wouldn’t be getting a name (we need parent permission) and a random number.
Now for 8 year olds the number on the back of their jersey can be of great importance to these kids. It certainly has been for both my kids and all their friends over the years. I’ve however only heard from 2 parents and the deadline was yesterday.
Rather than let this irritate me and cause me worry about the kids whose parents haven’t responded which is what I would normally do I just went ahead with my plans. Arranged to have the jerseys done with what is available to me and to hell with those who couldn’t take a minute to respond to an e-mail.
Instead of being cranky and upset about the lack of time and effort it seems some parents put into their children’s activities I’m just going to be proud that I do put in that time and effort. I’ve said this before that I need to stop worrying about what others do but this is the first time I’ve really done it.
I’ve finally really realized that what I do should matter more to me than what others don’t do. I must say it’s actually quite a relief.
Time for a Makeup Lesson
My oldest daughter came home from school yesterday afternoon wearing makeup. Not a lot, in fact I didn’t even notice until I leaned in close when she asked me a question about Pi (which I couldn’t answer) and I suddenly saw it. An odd glimmer to her eye and a look that was not entirely her.
I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. It hasn’t exactly snuck up on me as she’s been asking on and off to start wearing makeup for a while now. She has obviously become conscious recently of a desire to find her own style and fashion but I’ve been putting this aspect of it off. I’m not entirely sure what I’ve been waiting for that would tell me that she really is ready to explore this aspect of growing up but I'm thinking the time may have come.
I also can't help but think that if she is going to start experimenting with makeup I would rather it be with my guidance not in the school bathrooms. I can’t help but think that if left to learn on her own or with just her friends for guidance that she’ll end up looking like the love child of Bozo the Clown and Lady Gaga.
She will be 13 this summer and although I have told her not until her birthday I realize that the date itself is really quite irrelevant. It has been more about waiting for a sign that she really wants to explore this and not because she see’s others doing so. I've also been trying to ensure I wait long enough that she is mature enough to understand the message I’m trying to send.
For me that has been the hesitation it has never been about the makeup it has been about that message behind it. The media portrays makeup as being what makes you beautiful and that without it you’re not. I want her to understand that makeup doesn’t change who or what you are. That it is something to be used to enhance the natural beauty she already has and that sometimes when used wrong makeup can actually hide that natural beauty.
I want her to get the message that makeup is not a mask it cannot change who or what you are inside and that true beauty really does come from within. It’s not a cliché it’s not wishful thinking I really and truly believe that beautiful people are not made from the outside in but from the inside out and I want her to know it as surely as I do.
By her sudden rush to the bathroom to wash it off the idea occurred to me that if she is comfortable enough wearing makeup that she forgot she is wearing it I doubt it’s the first time she’s tried.
The age limit of 13 has up until now given her a clear and easy excuse to dismiss the pressure from friends if she so chose. My mom won’t let me is not an argument even other 13 year old girls feel they can argue against. If she has made the choice to ignore that easy excuse then she is pursuing the idea and it’s time to take a small step forward.
I realize that even if I’m unsure about the prospect of makeup she isn’t.
The Egg Hunt
Perhaps it was the chocolate egg induced sugar high, the second glass of wine I’d had or the hour in which I began to set up the egg hunt but I found myself in a bit of a giggly state Easter morning. I say Easter morning as being past midnight technically it was morning. Whatever the reason it seemed I was experiencing a few technical difficulties with setting things up.
Being rather rounded the eggs, as should be somewhat expected, were rolling away. BANG each and every egg which found its way out of my grasp or was not quite balanced upon its perch was crashing to the floor.
The sound of a solid chocolate egg hitting the hardwood floor at 12:30 in the morning is incredibly loud. With each successive bang I found myself freezing in my tracks my head cocked towards the bedrooms listening for the telltale signs of a stirring child.
I found myself unable to remove a mischievous grin which had plastered itself to my face as I fought to suppress the sudden urge to giggle. My husband’s whispered admonishments to be careful simply made the fight to keep said giggles from escaping past my tightly sealed lips that much harder.
The scenario of having one or both girl’s catch me “in the act” as it were had me playing out the scenario of what to do should such a thing happen. The only logical course of action I could think of would be to toss whatever was still grasped in my hand, take a dive and subsequently curse out some lousy rabbit for tripping me on my way to use the bathroom.
At 12:30 in the morning with half the lights on while still fully dressed. The plan definitely had its flaws. Despite those flaws I would have valiantly thrown myself upon my sword in an attempt to keep the magic of the Easter bunny alive had such a scenario actually come up.
The Easter bunny is no longer a mystery to my oldest, she has in no uncertain terms let me know she knows that I am Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and Santa all rolled into one. Yet some small mystery remains as she isn’t quite sure how I do it. Logically she KNOWS and yet something about it still seems to be a little bit magical.
Eventually I managed to balance an egg in each and every little nook and cranny imaginable without waking anyone up. The intoxicating scent of sugar filled treats filled the air and the bunnies bravely stood at attention awaiting mornings first light and the inevitable loss of their ears. So for one more year the magic of the egg hunt survives.
Lessons
I see a lot of information offered on what I as a parent can teach my children in life but rarely do I see the idea presented that sometimes your children teach you just as much as you teach them. After all nothing has taught me more in life and about life than being a parent has.
I’m not talking about the everyday learning of how to soothe a squalling baby or how to remove grass stains, or even the concepts of 7th grade math. When it comes to those things I certainly know more than my girls do but what I’m talking about is the more abstract things that having children can teach.
Being a parent reminds you of the wonders and perspective of childhood that as an adult we’ve long forgotten. Perhaps all of the things that having children teaches us we did all know at some point but it was left behind with our own childhood.
Children teach us, or perhaps remind us, of the value of new experience. Children love to explore and learn and they serve as a reminder that we ourselves still have a lot to learn about the world around us. A child can teach us (or remind us) that learning is fun perhaps even something to love.
They also tackle new things without the same fears that often stop us as adults from exploring them. We’ve learnt to be cautious and to fear the unknown. While some fear and caution is certainly prudent we should not fear them simply because they are unknowns.
Remember for a child everything in life is a new thing. Imagine if never having seen or heard of snow in your life you did. Imagine walking out your front door to see such a dramatic change, the world completely coated in a substance you had never seen before.
What do you suppose your reaction would be? Certainly not to go out and explore this new found wonder, yet this is exactly what children do day after day. Much of the world is unknown to a child yet they continue to explore it without fear.
Take also that absolute wonderment in the world that children see. My children have taught me to be curious about the world again, to look at the bugs and plants and creatures of our shared world and amaze in it.
They have taught me to play again, to not worry what anyone else might think of me, to love unconditionally, and to love myself in any way shape or form. They have taught me to adapt on the fly, to do things spontaneously to be creative and just have fun.
So while I take them by the hand in order to teach them I will also try to remember to watch for the lessons they still have to teach me.
Say no
I work with little ones everyday and recently I seem to see, more often than ever before, an alarming number of children who are quite clearly the head of their households.
These are children who get what they want, when they want it and their parents seem to be either unable or unwilling to enforce any boundaries.
I hate seeing how these children are allowed to develop terrible eating and sleeping habits, how they seem to live in a state of near exhaustion and are constantly plagued by minor illness. They seem to have a hard time concentrating and learning new things and are unable to play well either independently or with others.
These children are always the ones who seem to be the most unhappy I see. I don’t pretend I’m a perfect parent myself or in fact that there even is such a thing as a perfect parent but seeing this makes me want to speak up and remind these parents to say no sometimes and to remember that they are supposed to be their childs parent and not a friend.
I wish I could remind them that sometimes saying no is the right thing to do. I want them to realize that no is not a negative word. Like any other word it is simply a tool with which we communicate. Whether it is positive or negative depends entirely on how you use it.
I want to tell them that by always saying yes they are making their children miserable that they are teaching them that nothing has value and that material gain is all that matters in life.
I want to tell them that saying no will give their child so much more. That it will give them strength of character, allow them to make good choices and give courage and comfort when those choices result in the unexpected.
I want to tell them that saying no now will allow their children to move past the hard times in their future lives and to find success.
It will teach them to give respect to others and to expect the same in return. It will teach them what is right and what is wrong and how to be happy.
I want to tell them that you may not be your child’s friend today but that someday if you remember to guide them now that someday when they no longer need as much parenting in their life they will be.
They will see that you always did what you thought was right even when it was hard to do and thrive as adults in their own lives. It is all any of us can do as parents and it is our job to at least try.
Back to School
I seem to be in a bit of shock that my oldest is now officially attending a school with high in the name ok it is just junior high but still, yikes! When did that happen, when did she become this beautiful and outgoing person no longer just a child.
She is of course still a child in many ways, still a pre-teen but clearly on the cusp of the next great stage and I can see it very clearly now. I’m proud as can be however because I honestly like the person my child is becoming.
She is so like me in looks and also in mannerism even many of her strengths and weaknesses are the same as mine but for all our similarities she is quite different, unique. It isn’t the things that are the same between the two of us that make me marvel at the person she is becoming but the differences. I see my best qualities and remarkably few of my worst reflected in her.
I suppose different life experience (even at this early stage) have vastly changed our perceptions of the world around us and she is ten times more confident and outgoing then I was at the same age, I hope it continues.
With new school supplies nearly toppling her over this morning I think I was just as excited for her to embark on the new school year and to see her continue to move forward in life. Of course I’m also happy to see A doing the same. She was so happy for the start of school she literally couldn’t wait this morning and was sitting on the front steps about 20 minutes before her bus arrived.
E won’t readily admit that deep down she does enjoy school and was really just as excited as her sister but I know she was. Of course the most important part of all is seeing their friends again; the occasional visit over the summer just isn’t the same as that everyday interaction.
I hope they both have a fun and exciting school year.
Forgetful Fairy
Whoops tooth fairy forgot to visit. Or as I told my little one “she must take Sundays off”. There was only some minor disappointment as she has heard of other incidences of the tooth fairy being rather forgetful when her sister has lost a tooth.
With E it had become easy to forget tooth fairy duties as it felt like she had been losing teeth forever and it was quite clear she knew exactly who the tooth fairy was. She knew just who to blame if the tooth remained under her pillow in the am. After hearing “someone forgot about my tooth last night” with eyebrows raised and that sarcastic lilt to “someone” it kind of tipped me off. She lost the last one a few months ago and I actually contemplated just handing her a toonie in exchange for the tooth.
It seemed the safer option as I always seem to find a toy or object by smashing my foot directly into it when attempting to be stealthy. The result of which is to end up doubled over trying desperately not to start yelling obscenities into the darkness. It seems the quieter I try to be the louder I actually am.
I don’t really see the need to make a big production out of it. I know of a few parents who give what I consider obscene amounts and go as far as to create elaborate setups to prove the tooth fairy has come but I’ve never made a huge deal of losing teeth after all it’s a part of life and growing up.
I’ve cheered for them when they lose a tooth, they have a special tooth pillow but I’ve never given more than a toonie and have always felt that was doing enough. And to be quite honest the special tooth pillow has a hidden agenda. It keeps me from having to try and get a teeny tiny tooth from under their sleeping heads. For some reason I would always find it under the very last bit of pillow I'd reach. It should come in quite valuable for A as she is a very light sleeper.
I’ve already dug through the change jar in search of a toonie to replace her tooth with tonight. I managed to come up with a loonie and 4 quarters so she’ll be even more excited by that. I still haven’t quite got it through to her that 5 pieces of change don’t always equal 5 dollars.
School stuff
I was planning on getting a start on school supplies this weekend so I hope I can get most of it done this weekend.
I always forget how much actually needs to get done before the new school year never mind how much it all costs. Even though it is still a little over 3 weeks before the start of school I should really get started on everything. I always like to make sure we are ready ahead of time.
I also need to get them slowly working towards normal bedtime and wake up times again, summer holidays result in bedtime becoming rather obsolete. Routines get broken and it really can be a struggle to get back into those routines too quickly.
I also have the mile long lists of school supplies to get. This year it is getting pretty lengthy for E. I’m not looking forward to buying her a $50 dollar scientific calculator when she has yet to hang onto even a basic calculator for a full year.
Usually pretty much everything with the exception of dictionaries and verb books aren’t in good enough condition to make it through another school year. Being in French-Immersion they tend to need a few more books than their English only counterparts so being able to keep them in good condition for multiple years is important. Still trying to decide whether purchasing her band instrument or renting would be a better option
I also have to figure out transportation for E as junior high students no longer qualify for busing from the school division. It really isn’t too long a walk in good weather but during the winter months it may be.
Oh well lots to think about and a busy weekend ahead. Should be beautiful weather so here is hoping it won’t all be spent on school shopping.
Instant Friends
Do you want to play with me?
That’s all it takes in the world of children to make a friend. I was thinking about it after our second night at the hotel last week when both girls were bugging me to go out to the pool. They wanted to meet friends from the night before.
All they knew about each other was their names and ages, which have already been forgotten since, but having played with them for just a short time they were considered to be a friend. Certainly these are not lasting friendships only as long as we happen to be in the same hotel or sometimes even simply the short time spent playing together just that once.
Watching one of these instant friendships blossom reminds me of just how much our perceptions change as we age. The innocence of childhood which allows for such friendships seems to get lost over the years. The ability to play with a stranger in the same way you would play with a long time friend disappears.
I certainly wouldn’t grasp the hand of someone I met 5 minutes ago and jump into a pool together or suggest we play a game. Perhaps it is this, our inability to play in quite the same way that prevents these instant friendships from happening. Our idea of what makes a friend also changes, someone we will meet only a few times is not considered a friend, still a stranger or at the very most an acquaintance.
My oldest in fact wasn’t calling her playmate a friend simply “the girl I was playing with”; her idea of friendship has already begun changing just shy of her 12th birthday. She recognizes that someone she plays a game with isn’t the same as the kids she has known and played with for years.
For me and I’m sure for most adults those moments in which we share a few words with a stranger while waiting in a long line or commenting on something of mutual interest is perhaps all that is left of these instant friendships. I think that these friendly moments which give us a short connection to another person are the remnants of these unique instant friendships of childhood.
The Small Things
A at about the age of 2 began to keep a bag that is filled with all the small items that she loves and that have found a special place in her heart. The bag itself was one of the first gifts that her sister ever gave to her and is special in its own way.
As she has grown the items have changed although there have also been a few that remain the same. I sometimes feel as if I’m snooping when I look inside to see what she currently has stashed away but I can’t resist a peek now and again.
I love to look at the items in it and figure out what makes them special, although sometimes I can’t. It’s gotten easier as she’s gotten older to figure things out but it still sometimes stumps me. It’s a peek into the mind of a child and I love to see the mishmash of things she treasures.
I regularly go through the kids rooms to get rid of toys they don’t use and bits of garbage that have found their way in but this bag no matter how much junk I think is in it doesn’t get touched.
She even has a couple of items in it from my own childhood, a fake key, a miniature glow worm and a Minnie mouse pin. For those things to have lasted through to her childhood they were obviously of value to me when I was young as well.
It has been a great thing to have for road trips and time away from home, as long as she has this bag she has something to do and something to comfort her. She doesn’t carry it with her everywhere anymore and not all of her important stuff goes in it now, now she has a purse.
Someday I know she’ll stop doing this altogether and I can’t help but feel I’ll miss the days when a broken shell or a silly shaped whistle are no longer counted as such prized possessions.
A Sunny Disagreement
I’m a little bit sun burnt from yesterday and already I’ve had a few disapproving comments that I wasn’t careful enough with sunscreen. I did make sure both girls were wearing sunscreen and I was wearing sunscreen myself I just happened to miss a few sections, namely my backside.
You can tell exactly how much of my bottom my bathing suit covers. It’s my back and upper thighs that are burnt. I don’t however think it’s as bad as people make it out to seem. I certainly don't think it's enough to question or critisize my approach to sun protection. It’s the first sunburn I’ve had in years and it’s not even a particularly severe burn.
To be honest I don’t like to wear sunscreen and I only do under certain conditions. I’m a little on the fence about sunscreen use. I worry about the environmental impact of sunscreens, the health impact of so much chemical exposure and the lack of scientific evidence either for or against sunscreen.
That’s not to say I’m not sun smart or that I don’t protect myself. An entire day spent at the beach is one of those few days that I do use sunscreen. That or any other time that I will be out all day. Normally I simply avoid being outside when the sun is at its hottest, I always wear a hat and try to stay in the shade as much as possible.
I regularly check the local UV report and base the amount of time I spend outside on it. I normally would have also brought beach umbrellas with us for a beach day but it was rather last minute planning and I forgot to bring them.
Many people may not agree with it but for me and my family it’s the right approach. I’ve been encouraged by our pediatrician that there is nothing wrong with how I deal with sun exposure and like everything else in life I simply try to balance things out. I’m a strong believer that very little is actually bad for you when balanced right.
I do believe there is such a thing as too much sun but I also believe there is such a thing as too little.
It still bothers me a bit that people can be so judgmental about such little things, as if I am doing something abhorrent by not slathering my kids in sunscreen constantly. I’ve done my research and have made my decision to use sunscreen as little as possible on many different factors.
If someone else decides that my approach to sunscreen or anything else for that matter isn’t right for them I’m not going to try and convince them that they are wrong. I respect their decisions are right for them even if they are not right for me and they should do the same. We don’t need to agree on what’s right for our individual selves, we should simply live and let live.
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