My oldest daughter came home from school yesterday afternoon wearing makeup. Not a lot, in fact I didn’t even notice until I leaned in close when she asked me a question about Pi (which I couldn’t answer) and I suddenly saw it. An odd glimmer to her eye and a look that was not entirely her.
I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened. It hasn’t exactly snuck up on me as she’s been asking on and off to start wearing makeup for a while now. She has obviously become conscious recently of a desire to find her own style and fashion but I’ve been putting this aspect of it off. I’m not entirely sure what I’ve been waiting for that would tell me that she really is ready to explore this aspect of growing up but I'm thinking the time may have come.
I also can't help but think that if she is going to start experimenting with makeup I would rather it be with my guidance not in the school bathrooms. I can’t help but think that if left to learn on her own or with just her friends for guidance that she’ll end up looking like the love child of Bozo the Clown and Lady Gaga.
She will be 13 this summer and although I have told her not until her birthday I realize that the date itself is really quite irrelevant. It has been more about waiting for a sign that she really wants to explore this and not because she see’s others doing so. I've also been trying to ensure I wait long enough that she is mature enough to understand the message I’m trying to send.
For me that has been the hesitation it has never been about the makeup it has been about that message behind it. The media portrays makeup as being what makes you beautiful and that without it you’re not. I want her to understand that makeup doesn’t change who or what you are. That it is something to be used to enhance the natural beauty she already has and that sometimes when used wrong makeup can actually hide that natural beauty.
I want her to get the message that makeup is not a mask it cannot change who or what you are inside and that true beauty really does come from within. It’s not a cliché it’s not wishful thinking I really and truly believe that beautiful people are not made from the outside in but from the inside out and I want her to know it as surely as I do.
By her sudden rush to the bathroom to wash it off the idea occurred to me that if she is comfortable enough wearing makeup that she forgot she is wearing it I doubt it’s the first time she’s tried.
The age limit of 13 has up until now given her a clear and easy excuse to dismiss the pressure from friends if she so chose. My mom won’t let me is not an argument even other 13 year old girls feel they can argue against. If she has made the choice to ignore that easy excuse then she is pursuing the idea and it’s time to take a small step forward.
I realize that even if I’m unsure about the prospect of makeup she isn’t.
