Feeling the Fog

A few years ago I slipped while skating my feet went up over my head and I landed on the ice the back of my head connecting first. I recall seeing blackness in front of my eyes before it resolved into a somewhat spotty and spiny winters sky. 

The pain is the first thing that came through with clarity and I recall rolling over, pulling my knees up and crouching on the ice my head held in my hands trying to tolerate the waves of pain crashing through my head.

It took me several minutes to be able to respond to the people asking if I was ok and even longer to get up off the ice and shakily make my way inside to remove my skates.  We left shortly afterwards and although I knew I didn’t feel quite right I brushed it off hoping I would feel better in a few minutes.

Instead what happened was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.  After arriving home I began to feel more and more off, something just didn’t feel right.  I was nauseous, my head was pounding but most alarming of all was that I couldn’t think properly. I was becoming increasingly confused and unable to comprehend what was going on around me.

My husband of course had been watching me carefully and when he became aware that one of my eyes was no longer reacting to light and that I really wasn’t ok decided that a trip to the ER was in order. I think the fact that I didn’t object in the least probably gave him a bit of a turn as I’ve waited overnight before going to the ER with a broken wrist.  

We called upon friends to come watch the kids while we were away and off we went.  I thought arriving at the hospital would make me feel better but rather than alleviate my fears I became even more worried.  The obvious concern of the nurse who wouldn’t let me out of her sight and the awareness of how difficult a time I had answering her very simple questions was extremely disconcerting.

For the first time in my entire life rather than go out to the waiting room I was brought straight into the emergency ward.   After some testing and a ct scan I was told I had a small fracture in my skull and a bad concussion.  Nothing they could do about it, the brain fog and mounting headache would fade over time and they sent us home.

It took me almost a month to feel completely myself again but from that day forward the feelings I’d had when at my most confused and disoriented haunted me.  It still worries me and I’m much more cautious particularly when skating.

See why this is on my mind today is that I’ve been feeling foggy today. The feeling I believe is a result of having been sick with one cold than another and finally a flu in the past three weeks.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with hitting my head and that it is simply the cumulative effect of being sick and unable to sleep well but never the less my mind wanders back.  

When Wendy Grew Up - 100 word missive

Gifts given by extended family to an older child or a young adult are often ill-suited to their current age.   In the eyes of grandparents, aunts and uncles we will always be the little girl or boy they recall from years gone by.  

Sometimes though, those gifts still manage to be just right.

As a young teen I received a book from my grandmother that did not match my age.  It was a beautifully illustrated copy of Peter Pan and Wendy.  It was not greatly appreciated when first received however it has become one of my most beloved possessions today.

The First Moments

“Can you close your tray ma’am? We’re going to be landing in just a few moments”

“Oh yes sorry was sleeping” Lissa answered glancing over at her husband.

“You’re always causing trouble aren’t you?” he said in a teasing voice

“Well not as much as……..”Lissa voice suddenly trailed off as an odd feeling washed over her.  It was the same feeling she used to get when she worked for the radio station and stood under the big mast. As if there was something electric in the air, the hair on the nape of her neck stood on end and a shiver raced down her spine.

She looked over at her husband and saw he felt the change in the air too. Then all at once the cabin was filled with a great noise, as if someone had suddenly taken the planes jet engines off the wings and placed them in the aisle. Her hands shot up to the sides of her face pressing against her ears in a desperate attempt to block some of the noise.

For a moment it seemed as if she would go deaf as the noise rose to a roar and became a deafening blast of sound that shook the entire plane.  Then just as suddenly as it started it was gone leaving only a faint ringing behind.

“What was that?”Lissa asked alarmed looking at the man beside her ”and who are you?”

“I don’t know but it sure was loud. My name’s….uh my name is…..uh” His brow wrinkled in concentration “I don’t know.” He finished with a perplexed look on his face “I mean I know I just can’t think of it. What’s your name?”

Lissa sat staring at the man beside her. She couldn’t remember, it was there niggling at the back of her mind a memory just out of reach.  That was ridicoulous how in the world could you forget your own name? Yet she had. “I don’t know either”

She allowed her eyes to travel over the rest of the cabin and saw that everyone seemed to be looking around with a bewildered look of confusion she imagined mirrored her own expression very well. She tried once again to remember who she was. 

She was on a plane and she was wearing dark jeans, a blue shirt with a black sweater over top and a pair of black leather shoes.  She could feel two sets of earrings in her ears, a small silver medallion hung from a chain around her neck and on her left ring finger was a very shiny wedding band with an intricate pattern of swirls engraved along its surface.

She reached over to the man sitting beside her and took his left hand bringing it near to her own left hand and saw a matching and just as shiny band on his own ring finger.  

“We’re married?” he asked

“I don’t know, maybe” She answered