Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other gold
I’ve been thinking about this song because my husband and I seem to have suddenly expanded the number of close friends we have as a couple yet I have a friend who has all but disappeared from my life in the past year. She is one of my oldest and most dear friends and even though we no longer see each other often I’ve come to realize she always will be.
Each time I do speak with her it is as if no time has passed between conversations. I’m always going to carry a special place in my heart for her no matter what. I suspect that she may be worried I’m mad at her for not spending much time with me but I’m not. I do miss her but I understand what has happened and why. She is for the first time in her life seriously involved with someone and I’m very happy for her. I also understand what it’s like to have a new love in your life and want to spend every waking moment with them. I’m sure I probably did much the same to her when my husband and I first decided we wanted to be more than friends.
She is simply at a different point in her life then I am. I have the schedule and responsibility of a homeowner, wife and mother. My life orbits around my kids and family. We often go out with others but it is to museums, galleries, festivals, and other family oriented events. We have friends over often but again its family oriented activities, watching movies, playing games and having bonfires. Most of the people we see regularly are married or have kids and the days of bars and partying are behind us.
For example we throw a News years party every year. We basically sit around playing board games, chatting and eating while the kids tear apart my basement. We all fear the idea of a hangover the next day and so don’t drink much. Staying up past midnight is enough of a challenge never mind after a few glasses of wine. Really I think most of us would be just as happy being in bed long before midnight we stay up because the kids have been promised permission to ring in the New Year and we can’t go to bed until they do.
That’s not the way a new couple without kids wants to spend their new years. They don’t want to dodge a dozen children running around yelling and being their lovingly annoying selves. They want to drink party and celebrate, then sleep in the next day. For those at my house sleeping in the next day won’t happen and it will take us days to recover from staying up late and having had two or three drinks.
So I’ve come to realize that I haven’t really lost a friend at all we are just at different points in our lives that don’t happen to be conducive to doing a lot of the same things and spending a lot of time with one another. I’m happy with where I am in life and I’m happy for her as long as she is happy in her life. I’m sure at some point we will go back to spending more time together as our lives and the stages we are in continue to change. Regardless of when or if that happens I realize now that some friendships simply can’t end they are a part of our very fiber and being, and this is one of them.
Across the land
Across the sea
Friends forever
We will always be
