Helpless

Last year during soccer playoffs my daughter was injured on the field and I had lamented on how it is the worst moment for any sports parent.  Well that injury was a broken wrist and severe enough but I discovered last night that I was wrong.  There is a much worse sporting moment as a parent.

Last night about ten minutes into the second half she dropped to the ground.  I didn’t see what had happened but I was called onto the field moments later.  I got a few steps toward her before I heard how she was crying and then I RAN. It quickly became clear she would not be walking off the field and even more alarmingly that she wasn’t able to be carried off.

Since it seemed we couldn’t move her without causing her a great deal of pain or possibly injuring her further I called 911.  As soon as the 911 operator answered I discovered that I was not as calm as I was trying to appear to be and quickly handed off the phone to another parent so I could focus where every instinct was telling me to focus; on her.

The time between calling emergency services and the wait until they arrived were by far the worst moments I’ve ever experienced.  She was shivering uncontrollably, hyperventilating, in terrible pain and absolutely terrified.  All I could do was stroke her hair and try to get her to breathe calmly and tell her that I wasn’t going anywhere. She was looking to me for help and I was completely helpless to do so. 

When we were leaving with the ambulance I finally looked up from her and back at the field.  It wasn’t until then that I saw, even though the game had by then been called, that no one had left. Many of the girls on her team were crying and although I certainly felt bad for all the girls I also felt very grateful for their and their parents’ silent support in those awful moments.

I was grateful for those who had lent blankets and helped me to get our things together and get the car home so that I could go with her in the ambulance and have my husband still able to meet us at the hospital.  I honestly have no recollection of who I asked to do what. I only know that those I asked for help did so without hesitation.  

She did not as had been suspected dislocate her hip but did tear ligaments and is going to have a long recovery.  She is still in terrible pain today and will need a lot more care than usual as she hobbles her way around on crutches for an undetermined amount of time.  Only time will tell how long and difficult her recovery will be but hopefully she doesn’t suffer any long term effects.

Being helpless to help her was by far a worse experience to the broken wrist of last year.  I hope to never again face an experience like this one has been.

Team Matters - a 100 word ramble

The best thing my husband and I do for our children is encourage them to participate in team sports.  We have seen them grow in countless ways because they are team players. Their confidence, their drive, their determination, their ability to support others has all come in part from being a team player.  They are active healthy kids who genuinely have fun win or lose and they will take from sports as much, perhaps even more, then they put into it. The friendships and the joy they get from playing on a team is definitely worth every moment of effort.

Back In The Traces

It feels like such a long time since I’ve posted even though it’s only been two weeks.  I’ve had a wonderful break although a few challenges have certainly been faced.  The biggest challenge was during our week spent camping in Swan River, MB. 

We had travelled to Swan River of all places as our daughter was to compete in the Manitoba Summer Games.  It’s a pretty big event with the top young athletes in Manitoba competing in a variety of sports.  Our daughter went for soccer playing goalkeeper on the Winnipeg gold team. 

She would be traveling to the games with her team and staying with them in the athlete’s village while the rest of our family spent the week in a camper we had rented for the occasion.  She had the time of her life and she and her team played their hearts out.  Competition was fierce and the final match went into overtime. 

Her team came out on top winning the gold medal 3-1. 

I can’t explain the intensity of this final match or the nervous energy on and off the field. Both teams played extremely well and it was an amazing game to watch.  That final 20 minutes of overtime play was wildly competitive and it wasn’t until the last few minutes of play when her team managed to get a second overtime goal that anyone started breathing somewhat normally.

I couldn’t be more proud of the game these girls played and my daughter couldn’t be happier to have brought home a gold medal and memories to last a lifetime.  I honestly believe that she played her very best game to date making amazing save after amazing save. 

The experience of her team winning gold made the disastrous camping experience well worth it. We lived in pouring rain and several inches of mucky water for the week.  I came quite close to hitting a deer on our way out and the drive was made difficult by the stormy evening.  

We arrived really late (a little after 11 pm) because the trailer couldn’t be picked up until 3 hours later than when we were supposed to pick it up and we didn’t to leave Winnipeg until almost 5. Since we arrived so late and the night was so stormy we were unable to set up the trailer that night which resulted in a very cramped and uncomfortable night with three of us in a single bed with the trailer still attached to the truck. 

When we finally did set up the trailer it was after watching the first game and we were soaked through from the heavy rains.  We also discovered on set up that the fridge door was broken, by dropping it on my ankle and that the microwave would randomly turn itself on and off.  

Everything and everyone spent the entire time soaked and filthy.  We even found ourselves evacuated at one point because of tornados nearby and the town had declared a state of emergency by the end of the week.  I’m sure the organizers had an even more difficult week with 1,600 athletes to care for, keep organized and entertained.  

That gold medal brought home around our daughters’ neck though made every wet and stressful moment worthwhile.    

Calmed

It’s been a remarkably calm week, which is weird since it was also a very busy week.  I’ve stayed relatively stress free because I’ve decided to just stop giving a damn. Not about everything no, but about the little things that don’t really affect me. That irritate just because they irritate.

I’ve still been doing all my work, my chores and errands, attending meetings, doing the soccer and school thing but I’ve stopped worrying about things that are outside of my control.  I’ve realized that I always do the best that I can in everything I do and I can’t do anything more than that.

What other people do or don’t do is not my problem and I don’t have to let it bug me.  It doesn’t change my efforts or discount them in any way I can let these things bother me or I can be proud that at least I do them.   

Just as an example I’m coaching soccer this year and I began the arduous task of trying to get a response from the parents of all the kids on my team.  I sent the first e-mail of the week early Tuesday morning specifically requesting number/name preferences for jerseys.  I made it clear if I didn’t hear back they wouldn’t be getting a name (we need parent permission) and a random number. 

Now for 8 year olds the number on the back of their jersey can be of great importance to these kids. It certainly has been for both my kids and all their friends over the years. I’ve however only heard from 2 parents and the deadline was yesterday.

Rather than let this irritate me and cause me worry about the kids whose parents haven’t responded which is what I would normally do I just went ahead with my plans. Arranged to have the jerseys done with what is available to me and to hell with those who couldn’t take a minute to respond to an e-mail.

Instead of being cranky and upset about the lack of time and effort it seems some parents put into their children’s activities I’m just going to be proud that I do put in that time and effort.  I’ve said this before that I need to stop worrying about what others do but this is the first time I’ve really done it. 

I’ve finally really realized that what I do should matter more to me than what others don’t do. I must say it’s actually quite a relief.

Tournament

I’ve been trying to find something going on this week in Manitoba and I have to say I got nothing.  It isn’t that there is nothing going on it is simply that there is nothing going on that really sparks an interest for me. 

Well there is the official return of NHL hockey to Winnipeg as announced Tuesday morning but I think I’ve already covered that one. The only difference is now I can actually believe that it is happening.

Even in the event there was something that really interests me it wouldn’t really make a difference as personally I already have a very busy week and weekend planned and can’t think about anything else.   

This week taking up a good portion of our schedule is soccer with a 4 day tournament rounding off the week.  I know not necessarily an interest to most but that is where my focus lies for the week.

It is the 20^th anniversary of the Children’s Hospital soccer tournament and there will be a huge turnout of teams, last year the tournament hosted 165 teams and this year it is expected to host an even larger number.

It has apparently been a great success over its 20 year run having raised over $200,000 for the hospital foundation while providing an excellent challenge for youth soccer players.

The teams come from all over Manitoba and a portion of western Ontario.  My oldest will be playing and I’m sure she will enjoy a chance to watch some of the older groups and their moves as well.   

Tournaments are a great way to keep kids excited about sports, the possibility of winning a trophy or even simply a medal for participation makes it all a little more fun and gives them something to strive for.

Even though we teach our kids that winning isn’t everything there is still room for competition. 

Teaching them the value in preparing to compete and in playing your best can provide a motivation that simple play without that element of healthy competition cannot.

Losing may never be fun but with the right mind set it isn’t the end of the world and they will remember having played fondly regardless of what color medal they bring home.

As it has been said many times; it is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.

Soccer Daze

 

Soccer registration was this past weekend.  It’s hard to believe that soccer season is so close when you look outside at the mountains of snow and the still cold temperatures. This is the first year both girls will be playing and we will have either a practice or game every night of the week except for Saturdays.  It’s going to be nuts.  My oldest now plays competitively so she plays games twice a week and practices twice a week.  For her the season will start mid-April.  My little one is thankfully only in the house league which means games only no practices and she will play twice a week starting early May.  So from May until the tail end of June it will be soccer, soccer and a bit more soccer.     

I will almost certainly be coaching again this year which means I really have to be at every game and practice.  I’m hoping that we have enough volunteers this year that I won’t need to coach for both girls teams though. I would love to sit down a few games and just cheer for them rather than try to keep track of who is in what position and when they were last subbed.  It can get a little confusing at times.

It’s sad to see that so many kids get registered to play yet there are so few parents willing to step up and volunteer. The most common excuse is that they don’t know anything about soccer, well a few years ago neither did I. Soccer didn't seem to be around when I was a kid it was all baseball and I knew nothing about the sport.  I still get confused by what constitutes as offside sometimes but the girls don’t care they just want to play. I do understand people hesitancy to coach it is difficult to get 14 or so girls to pay attention to you and follow direction with out a good deal of patience and the right attitude. There are many other ways in which parents can help out. They can help to organize the district jamboree, be a bench mom, flag duty, help organize the team windup or even just help the coaches to collect all the markers and balls from after a game or practice.  For the house league (under 9 age group) a parent or guardian HAS to remain at the field so if your there anyways why not help out?

One of the hardest things to get people to do for some reason is flag duty. All they have to do is walk up and down the sideline and raise a flag when the ball goes out of bounds and indicate which team was the last to touch the ball.  Pretty simple but each time I would start walking across the field with the flag everyone would suddenly find a reason to pay attention to everything other than me and even refuse to risk making eye contact.  Eventually I stopped waiting for someone to speak up and tossed the flag to the first parent that came into view. I know not necessarily the fairest way to decide but it was effective. 

Regardless of if I see their games this year as either a coach or just a parent I look forward to seeing them play and have fun.